dropsofstars replied to your post: and thats why I never do the send me an ask…

i replied do em all! i guess it didnt go through :(

Your wish is my command. Skipping 25, 29, and 47 since I knocked those three out already. Oh, and happy birthday, Cyndi!

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
There’s almost always some crush or other. But I try not to let myself get carried away, since it’s never requited. This thing that I reblogged last night said it well.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
I was head-over-heels over my ex fiancee. I’ve been smitten since, but I haven’t felt that strong emotional attachment in 15 years.

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?
Not long enough for it to affect me the way it does. I think it was about ten months…I think we got together just after Valentine’s Day, and the Dear John email came on Christmas Eve. Pathetic, I know.

4: Have you ever changed for someone?
I am who I am. I can’t even seem to change for the sake of myself.

5: How is your relationship with your ex?
I don’t have any relationship with any exes. I haven’t dated anyone who lives in my area. 

6: Have you ever been cheated on?
A few weeks after the Dear John email, a friend of the ex’s sent me a letter saying that the reason I’d been dumped was because she’d been seeing someone else and she’d fallen in love with him. So I guess the answer is yes, but I didn’t know it at the time. I never had that moment of finding out during a relationship, then having to figure out what to do.

7: Have you ever cheated?
No. I’ve had too much cheating in my life. My mom cheated on my dad and Evil Stepdad #1 (not sure about current stepdad). My sister has been cheated on by her husband (she’s the result of one of my mom’s affairs when my first dad was still around). I’ve had enough of it to last a lifetime.

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?
Not on your life. See above.

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?
Communication is key. It really sucks when two people in a relationship are on completely different pages mentally, but neither of them knows where their partner is at mentally.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
I’d prefer a serious relationship. Granted, I haven’t had any sort of relationship at all in over 4 years, so I don’t think I’d turn down a fling (as long as nobody was being made to feel like it was more, unless of course it organically turns out to be more in the long run).

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?
I think it’s important to recognize that you don’t have to be together 24/7, and that sometimes a partner may need a night out with friends, family, or just by themselves without their significant other. That’s OK. But as far as a break that lasts for weeks or months? That just seems like a breakup where nobody plays a Taylor Swift song until they’re really sure that they — are never, ever, ever — getting back together.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
Between two serious girlfriends (well, the second wasn’t serious about me…see the “communication” answer to question nine), a few who I casually dated, and a couple one-night stands (plus one friend-with benefits — we never went all the way but parts were touched and things were rubbed so I’m counting it), I’ve been intimate with eight women. Oh, and one man. I had questions. I learned that it wasn’t my thing, but at least it left me without questions as to my sexuality.

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
The third woman I dated wasn’t long after my second girlfriend dumped me. I was bitter, so I was selfish with her. After we’d dated for a few weeks, I stopped calling her. If she called me, we’d go out, but I never made any effort. She would tell me that she loved me, and I would change the subject. We’d hook up, then I’d leave when we were done. I was a total asshole to her. I wasn’t berating her or hitting her or anything, but I was cruel. I still get mad at myself for it.

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
I may not be the right person to ask. My first time wasn’t until I was 22. And my first dad had told me when I was younger that I wasn’t even allowed to date until I was 26 (I never did tell him that I started early). We had sex-ed in high school, but our sex ed consisted mostly of “don’t do it, because you’ll either get pregnant or die of an STD.” I never even got “the talk” from any parental figure, biological or step. So I imagine most people these days would be ready before I was.

15:  Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?
To an extent. What’s really important is the maturity level. There are people older than me who are way less mature than me, and people younger than me who are more mature than I am. There’s always the “robbing the cradle math” (divide the older person’s age by two and add seven to the result), which says I should be aiming between 24 and 62, but I wouldn’t automatically discount, say, a 22 year-old if it felt right.

16:  Do you believe in “love at first sight”?
I believe in lust at first sight. Other than that, well, this says it best:

17:  Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?
Absolutely. It’s a totally different dynamic, but it’s definitely possible. People can get to know each other without the physical aspect, and while that’s a drawback for many, it can make an eventual connection that much stronger. I won’t pretend it’s easy, but it can be done.

18:  What do you consider a deal breaker?
Cheating is an instant deal-breaker. I’ve seen it throw too many lives into turmoil (including my own, not even counting the ex fiancee). I just don’t think I could handle it.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?
I’m going to steal the answer of the person I stole these questions from because I can’t word it better than this: When it brings you more stress and grief than happiness.

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
They can. It hasn’t happened for me, but it can happen. When I went back to work at Disneyland, my ex was still working there. She had transferred to Guest Relations, so I didn’t work directly with her. I found out when one day I was working in the Balloon Room, and we got a call that City Hall had a guest who wanted a deflated balloon so they could take it home on the plane (inflated balloons can’t be taken on board an airplane). When I walked in to City Hall with the balloon, there she was behind the counter. I hid the fact that I was floored to see her again without warning*, and smiled and sold the balloon to the guest. But I saw her look at me, and her face got stern, and she walked away into the back room. I took the hint, and from then on we pretended that each other didn’t exist if we were in the same area. But just because she wanted nothing to do with me afterwards doesn’t mean that exes can’t still be friends.

*Whenever I think about that, I get the song “I Think I’ll Disappear Now” by the Crash Test Dummies in my head:
♫ Running into you like this without warning ♫
♪ Is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning ♪
♫ But I’ll try, try to keep my food down ♫
♪ It’s quite an aftertaste you’ve left now that you’re not around ♪

22: Do you think people should date their friends?
If you’re not even friends, why are you dating?

23: How many relationships have you had?
Two serious relationships, three not-serious relationships.

24: Do you think love can last forever?
Despite all evidence to the contrary, I think it can.

26:  Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?
My parents are so anxious to marry me off that it would take a lot for them to not approve of someone who may get me out of their hair (and out of their house). So if they didn’t approve, it would probably behoove me to hear them out…though I’d probably be stubborn and date the person anyway.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
The sad thing is that I don’t think I know any big dating secret now that I didn’t know then. Maybe old-man me can go back and give the advice instead. Maybe I’ll have learned something by the time I’m 80 (if I live that long).

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
It’s hard. I’ve tried it. My last girlfriend, a little over four years ago, lived in New York, and I was here in Washington. We met on an online poker site and hit it off. Over time, she came here once for a visit, and I went to New York for a visit a couple months later. But by the time I went there, we were already on the way to splitsville. And then she forgot to pick me up at the airport, and spent the whole time I was there on the phone with her boss yelling at him, and right after I came home from that trip the relationship ended for good. This is not to say that it can’t be done, but that both people have to really work at it.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
I’m straight. A lot of people in my life have been convinced that’s not true (to the point where I actually wondered myself…see question 12), and that bothered me when I was a kid (and getting beat up). Now I don’t really care so much if someone thinks I’m gay. Not like I’ve got any sort of romance in my future anyway.

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
If they can put up with mine, I bet I can put up with theirs.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
Only as far as Evil Stepdad #1/his son/a cousin are concerned. As for romantic relationships, no.

33: Do you want to get married one day?
I always cry at weddings. Mostly because I don’t think I’ll ever have that moment, and that makes me sad. So yes, I think I would like to, but I don’t think it’s in the cards for me.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?
Bad move. I mean, if you’re married to the person, then it makes a little more sense…like people who tattoo their wife and kids’ names onto themselves. But for the most part, if you’re dating someone and they want you to tattoo their name onto yourself, you’d best think twice (or twenty times) about it. Or at least get it in a design that will be easy to cover/turn into something else later.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
Yes and no. I mean, sex is groovy, and I enjoy it, but it can’t be the focus. And I’ll admit, I’m not constantly in a mood to give up the goods, even when dating. But my last girlfriend was a selfish lover (as in you know the male reputation for finishing first, then rolling over and going to sleep and leaving their partner unsatisfied? That was her), and that really sucked too. It would have been easier if we weren’t doing it at all.

36: Are you still a virgin?
I am not. It’s been over four years, but I know the heat of a luxurious bed (apologies to Much Ado About Nothing fans for stealing that line).

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?
Personality, of course. If I answered looks when I look the way I look, I’d be a hypocrite.

38: Do you enjoy love films?
Once in a while, they’re OK. But I can’t watch them all the time, because I just get sad that I don’t have that.

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
I gave Evil Stepdad #1 roses for Father’s Day once with my paper route money. He cried when I gave them to him and said it made him really happy. Then he got drunk and changed his mind and things got ugly.

And once I went to my car to go to work, and there were roses tucked under my windshield wiper. No card, no note. I never did find out who put them there.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?
Thursday will make 38 straight years without a Valentine. Even in elementary school, when we’d all decorate bags to hang off the side of our desk for Valentine’s cards, then have five minutes to go around the room putting Valentines in peoples’ bags, I’d always come back to an empty bag. Even as a kid I was unlovable.

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?
Disneyland.Going on rides, talking while in line, watching the atmosphere performers, maybe dinner at the Blue Bayou (I’ve only ever eaten there once), and fireworks from in front of the castle.

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?
Not since I was in high school, but yes.

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?
I don’t have many friends, so I think a partner would win.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?
I’m not someone whose mind turns to candlelight dinners and flower petals scattered around or anything, but I like to think that romance isn’t dead in me. But I’m no Casanova.

45: Could you imagine dating one of your current friends?
All of my friends here are a lot younger than me (like by 20 years, give or take a few years). They’re wonderful people, and if I was younger I would have a different answer. Other than online friends, I only have one in real life. And he lives in L.A. And he’s married. And a dude. So I guess I’d have to say no.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?
I’ve made friends who romance never worked out with, but I don’t call it friendzoned. It’s not like having a friend instead of a lover makes the friendship a waste of time.

48: What’s your favorite love song?
I think I’d have to go with Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross.

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Sadly, yes. See question 13.

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?
I’m needy, I’m depressed all the time, I’m high-maintenance, and I’m ugly. I probably wouldn’t want to date me either.

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?
This is a stupid question. Who says “I’ll take the asshole!”?

52: Are you good at giving other people advice regarding dating/ relationships?
I can’t see why anyone would come to me for relationship advice when I am obviously clueless when it comes to relationships.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?
Only if they flaunt it. Mostly I’m glad they found someone.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?
I don’t think you should feel pressured to announce it to the world if you want to keep it private, but if you’re seriously dating it’s kind of nice to let people know.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?
At least in the case of my two serious relationships, I was definitely overly attached. The last of these, though, was probably 14 years ago. So maybe I’ve learned by now. Or maybe I haven’t. I don’t know.

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?
See question 13. I worked pretty hard to make sure that fell apart.

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
As someone who once attempted suicide, and who has been really down lately (don’t worry, I’m not going to kill myself), I never consider it silly to consider suicide. I’d hope that they’d try to reach out to someone (and that someone would reach back), but heartbreak is some of the greatest pain someone can feel.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?
I’d probably be kind of whipped, as it were. Not a pushover, or anything, but I’d probably be more likely to give in than to assert my own way of doing things.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?
I suck at dates. The only birthdays I remember are my sisters and my mom. And my first dad, even though I made sure to ignore it every year like he did mine. Oh, and I know Mickey Mouse’s and DIsneyland’s off the top of my head, of course. But as far as anniversaries and things, I’d probably need a reminder. Probably. I mean, I’ve never made it a year with anyone to know for sure.

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?
If both people agree to it, then party on. I won’t lie, there’s a little bit of jealousy for me there, because some of us can’t get one significant other, and other people are bouncing around, but don’t let me be a wet blanket and keep you from living how you want to live. Anything that happens between consenting adults is not really my concern.

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?
If not for my family, I’d be dead now. At the same time, they do get on my nerves sometimes. But so would a partner, I’m sure. I think that if I’m just dating, then family would come first. If things are serious, though, like engaged/married serious, then I think my loyalties would have to shift to the significant other.

62: How do you define “cheating”?
A romantic or sexual connection with another person behind your partner’s back.

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
Do what works for you. Nothing wrong with a little porn once in a while. If you can enjoy it together, even better.

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?
Fuck Valentine’s day. Some dude who lived in the third century wrote “from your Valentine” on a card before he was executed, and 1800 years later I get to feel inferior because I don’t have anyone to buy a card and chocolate for.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?
I dig cuddling. It’s like sex, but with less pressure.