(Edited, since NBC still hasn’t shown these events…at least in my time zone)
Wouldn’t it suck if you were walking for like, Greece, or one of the other countries that enters near the beginning
and you get out there
and have to pee?
While watching the Olympic trials yesterday, I had a thought.
Most Summer Olympic events (except for the team sports) are based on what have been, at least at some point in human evolution, survival skills.
- Boxing/Judo/Taekwondo - fighting off rival tribesmen
- Archery - shooting arrows at saber-toothed tigers
- Track - running away from saber-toothed tigers
- Diving - surviving when the saber-toothed tiger corners you on a cliff overlooking the ocean
- Swimming - keeping yourself from drowning after diving off the aforementioned cliff
- Javelin - throwing a spear at a woolly mammoth (didn’t the saber-toothed tiger teach you anything?)
- Fencing - for living through the sword fight when the zookeeper says “that wasn’t a woolly mammoth; that was our elephant, you jerk! I challenge you to a duel!”
- Pole Vault - for escaping the zoo when the zookeeper disarms you
And then there’s gymnastics.
I haven’t figured out where doing a floor exercise or the uneven parallel bars in a bathing suit fits in to the survival function just yet.
so here’s a handy chart I found of every official summer olympic mascot. the olympics started featuring mascots in 1972, though
- I WAS WRONG ABOUT THERE NOT BEING ANY GOOD MASCOTS. i like Seoul 1988’s geometric tiger and Barcelona 1992’s cool little dog.
- Izzy is far and away the worst, with a close second being Athens 2008’s “deformed twins” and Los Angeles 1984’s “Clip-Art eagle”
- there’s something about Sydney 2000’s mascots that seems really unsettling, but I can’t put my finger on it
- “unevenly-rainbow-colored dachsund” is a shitty mascot. “evenly-rainbow-colored beaver” I might wear on a t-shirt though
- millions of dollars to design these things and nobody knows how to draw a decent-looking bear
incidentally, the first UNofficial mascot was the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics’ “Smoky the Dog”
which like obviously he is the best
ecxuse me but
nothing gets much more ugly than these fuckers
I need a shirt with that rainbow beaver on it because holy shit that’s awesome
I always liked Sam, the eagle from the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics (top right). He reminded me of Eagle Sam from America Sings.
Sam the Olympic Eagle was designed by Disney Legend Bob Moore. Eagle Sam was designed by Marc Davis.
And what is it with eagles always being named Sam, anyway?