A preview of post-election blogging
One reason I’m not looking forward to the end of election season is that without Mitt Romney to kick around anymore, I’ll end up picking on myself instead.
The past few days, I’ve been really down in the dumps. Most of my dreams still revolve around working at Disneyland. It’s ingrained into me. Working there was something I’d wanted for my whole life. And I did it. I spent quite a few very happy years there.
And it’s gone. I had to choose between my dream job and my grandma’s health. I made the choice, and I’m still paying for it. I blew it in how I went about it by not applying for a leave of absence. I screwed up, and it’s the biggest regret in my life.
I want to go back. But even if I was accepted back after all this time (it’s been eight years now, so it’s possible that getting fired for attendance wouldn’t even be in their system at Casting anymore), I would start over at the bottom of the seniority ladder. Again.
Southern California is expensive, too. Drawing one 4-hour shift per week when the off-season rolls around isn’t going to pay rent.
So it seems out of reach. I had the chance to live my dream. And I screwed it up. Big-time.
And every time I sleep, my brain reminds me of that fact. I live most of my dreams (well, the ones that aren’t nightmares) at Disneyland. And then I wake up and realize that I’m in Washington. I don’t have a shift to get to. I won’t be watching fireworks tonight. I can’t go in on my day off and play.
I really miss happiness.
8 Notes/ Hide
- dropsofstars said: It makes me sad seeing that you’re sad. You can always go back. Don’t give up, and try for it again. It’s worth trying for, and even if you’re at the bottom, you can build yourself back up. It’s never too late. /hugs
- dropsofstars likes this
- heffervizen said: Don’t ever give up hope, my friend. If it’s still on your mind that much, maybe there’s still a way. I hope you find your happiness. You deserve it!
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- justblamechris said: ((Hugs))
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