Tumblr Sins?

Sure, here’s one. I may go to hell for this. I hope it’s worth it.

From the Book of John, chapter 8 (King Jimmy Version):

1: Jesus went unto the mount of tumblr.

2: And early in the morning he came again into the temple after seeing some reblogged porn, and all the people came unto him, for he was a pretty hot guy for a son of God; and he sat down, which is pretty gross when you consider all the coming that just went on.

3: And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had right-clicked and saved her in the midst,

4: They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. We were watching her through her window, but it was totally her fault.

5: Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? Didst he mean with the ganja, or, like, with rocks and stuff?

6: This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger clicked on a link to a funny cat video, as though he heard them not.

7: So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that has never sent a dick pic among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8: And again he stooped down, and checked some basketball scores.

16 Notes/ Hide

  1. fullfr0ntalnerdity said: hahahaha you’re cracking me up!
  2. thequirkyblonde said: I applaud thee for this.
  3. disfan said: WOW. That was brilliant.
  4. kennyvee posted this