chrisgonzalololes: Dat Parkour.
Boy, the hits just keep coming for Chick-Fil-A, don’t they? They are now being sued for gender discrimination. Let’s skip ahead a few numbers… So don’t be gay, don’t get pregnant, and if you do get pregnant, don’t have an abortion (since, you know, that’s most likely against company policy too), and you just may have a promising career at...
Well gee, Mitt, this looks a whole lot like the same message that your campaign is mocking Obama for. In each case, Obama and Romney tout the help that is required to succeed. In each case, they are right. So can we just drop this non-issue and move on, since both sides seem to agree on it (unless, of course, it’s the other side saying it at the moment)? Then Fox News can stop trotting out...
30 Day Drabble Challenge
Now that I’ve finished all 30 days, I figure I should post them all together since it’s one continuous story. So here they are, all 30 of the 100-word chapters, for anyone who missed parts or who wanted to wait until they were all finished. And since on Day 1, I didn’t have a story yet and wrote a drabble about writing these drabbles, I’ll re-do that one and make it part...
edwad: i dont say “no” to drugs i say “no thank you” because i wasnt raised in a fucking barn like some of you hoodlums
Kyle sat with his aunt Betty sipping tea. “It’s a different view than it was a year ago, isn’t it?” he asked. Betty looked around at the manicured grounds. “Back then, I was worried about being homeless. You had just been homeless. Kyle, I want to thank you for bringing me along on this ride.” “Don’t mention it. Not only would you have done the...
Advisor: Romney would back Israeli strike on Iran... →
Romney turns up the war engine in Israel, for those who missed all the war posturing in the plans listed on his website. His campaign slogan should be “Let them hate America. In fact, let’s make them hate us more.”
salutationtothestars: oh LORD who keeps putting these NBC announcers on the air fire all of them and start again NBC fire all of them and start again I think NBC needs to be fired for their handling of this. But we’re stuck with them again for the 2014, 2016, 2018, and 2020 games before there’s even a chance that another network can get the rights instead. On the plus side, they...
Holy Crap: Why recalling the Munich Massacre is... →
christinaincorporated: raiselm: Bob Costas may be taking a lot of crap for his insipid commentary last night, but I don’t care. Sure, it was insipid. It was also written and collected by a team of staffers and, who cares? The commentary provided excellent Twitter feed fodder. However, Costas did something very decent and good… Well said. When we fail to remember the tragedies that have come...
Michael Phelps didn't get a medal in the 400m IM
This makes me happy.
oswald-ears: Wouldn’t it suck if you were walking for like, Greece, or one of the other countries that enters near the beginning and you get out there and have to pee?
It hadn’t been complicated like Kyle had expected. When he walked into the bank, he had expected to have to convince a skeptical clerk to even look into the situation. He was sure that some technicality that would prevent the whole thing. Instead, they were expecting him. He sat down at a desk, signed a few forms, and was the owner of a bank account worth $42,000,000. Mr. Carothers had...
Pardon our dust...
Switching themes. I like the one I’ve had, but it drives me nuts that there’s no option to have a “next page” button instead of just loading more on the same page. Of course, since you probably see my tumblr(s) on your dashboard anyway, this probably won’t affect how it looks to you at all.
gemini-dragon: “England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions.” — Mitt Romney in 2010 • Saying something that probably isn’t going over too well right now in...
the-eleventh-blog: best headline ever i’m crying I thought this was a joke headline. It’s not. The article is here. Also reported by CBS. Apparently Mitt thinks he’s running for President of Great Britain as well, and wants to piss them off as much as he pisses off many Americans.
“I promise you, this is not a joke.” Kyle sat in stunned silence. He had noticed that Mr. Carothers hadn’t been around at work much, but he figured that it was just a business trip or something. He hadn’t asked about it. Finally, he was able to stammer out the words “Why me?” “He saw something in you. He said that somewhere, just below the surface, is...
throughthetrapdoors: occupyiowa: The YouTube corporation and CBS have now censored the original video of Anaheim cops shooting at children. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MST4RhWdlMQ “This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by CBS.” Spread links to the mirrors. Keep firing. Fuck Orange County Anaheim Police: The same department who I called when I was locked out of my...
The letter was a surprise. Only a few people knew where Kyle was staying. It also contained news which seemed unrealistic. The letterhead said that it was from Anne Legitt, Family Attorney. Kyle didn’t know if Ms. Legitt was legit, though. Please call my office at your earliest convenience. I have been instructed to give you your inheritance. He decided that it couldn’t be true,...
colinfirth: buttpower: you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four #friendship has no place at the uno table
Jim: I'd like to buy a gun. In fact, I'd like four.
Law: I don't see a problem with that.
Jim: Can I also get a few thousand bullets?
Law: I don't see why not.
Jim: Oooh, tear gas grenades!
Law: They look like fun, don't they? Why not take a few of those too?
Jim: And that bulletproof armor looks useful.
Law: It's surprisingly slimming, too! Here you go.
Blake: I think I'd like to smoke a little weed and order a pizza.
Law: Criminal! You're an awful person. We have laws for a reason, you jerk.
Gary: Hi, this is my boyfriend Hank. We'd like to get married, please.
Law: May you burn in hell, freak. You're assaulting my religious freedom to tell you how to live.
Jim: Oops, I just shot, like, 70 people.
Twitter: Hey, you're kinda cute.
Fox News: Damn those kids and their love of dressing up!
Blake: Wait, you let him buy all that shit, Law?
Law: It's a fundamental right. Such a shame that we had no possible way of knowing that he meant to actually put all that ammo into those guns that he bought.
Gary: So you mean to tell me that he can amass a personal army, but I can't marry the man I love?
Law: Marriage is one man and one woman. The Bible says so.
Blake: It also says thou shalt not kill, and judge not lest ye be judged.
Law: Shut up, hippie. You're under arrest.
Encyclopedia Salesman: Burglar! [rings door bell] Burglar!
[woman appears at other side of door]
Encyclopedia Salesman: Burglar, madam.
Woman: What do you want?
Encyclopedia Salesman: I want to come in and steal a few things, madam.
Woman: Are you an encyclopedia salesman?
Encyclopedia Salesman: No madam, I'm a burglar, I burgle people.
Woman: I think you're an encyclopedia salesman.
Encyclopedia Salesman: Oh I'm not, open the door, let me in please.
Woman: If I let you in you'll sell me encyclopedias.
Encyclopedia Salesman: I won't, madam. I just want to come in and ransack the flat. Honestly.
Woman: Promise? No encyclopedias?
Encyclopedia Salesman: None at all.
Woman: All right. [she opens door] You'd better come in then.
Encyclopedia Salesman: Mind you, I don't know whether you've really considered the advantages of owning a really fine set of modern encyclopedias... You know, they can really do you wonders.
I like being alone.
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone. It gives me time to think, and set my mind free. I like eating alone, and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child; A girl with her lover; Or a friend laughing with their best friend; I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely.
Returning to their seats with the hot dogs, Kyle decided he was glad they’d come to the game. Like Aunt Betty had said, sometimes you need to take a little time to enjoy yourself, because otherwise the stress would become overpowering. He wished his aunt would let him give her more money. He knew that he needed it, but she needed it too. He hoped that she could find a place where he could...
*RU OK Bella* *Where RU Bella* *Damn it Bella*– - from the fanfic that turned into Fifty Shades of Grey. u ok bella (via ponywithafez) Bella RU OK RU OK RU OK Bella You’ve been bit by… You’ve been struck by… a smooth vampire.